DIGITAL JOURNAL ──★ ˙🍓 ̟ !!

04.14.2025 - goals for spring

It has been a few years since I have gotten myself out of a creative rut and to pursue what I truly want out of life. Yet- not everything is always easy. Depression/ anxiety doesn't go away but it has been more manageable than ever since I have a rewarding system in place that allows me to function and live creatively. It was a chore before to get into any hobbies, interests, or to learn anything new. I could go down a rabbit hole of how it had affected me in the past but for now would like to just focus on how far I've gone and my hopes for the future.I've been learning that slowness is okay and safe.I've been wanting to write original one shots and create OCs for the longest time for comics as it took awhile to get comfortable getting into interests as inspiration for my work. Now I'm wondering what works I can delve into and analyze this week! Recently I have watched Haibane Renmei and Welcome to the NHK (first episodes) and Oyasumi Punpun (first volume). I've been liking the style of slow and introspective media. Normally I'm into psychological thrillers/ crime but I so far haven't come across anything that piqued my interest. I haven't been looking for any specific pace or genre in particular but I'm seeing a pattern in themes and vibes in the media I've been drawn to.Here are my goals for the week and for the rest of the Spring time:

04.09.2025 - Birthday Reflections

Today I turned 23! It was a day that felt truly special and was a spur of the moment with no planning other than spending it with the love of my life. We decided we were going to go with a 1.5 hour drive down to where I grew up. After the mall, we walked around my childhood playground (the old structure was still there 20+ years later- just repainted and an old boat was gone). The closing of the day there ended with the beautiful wish creek- where I used to throw pebbles into a creek and made wishes. The entrance crack of the gate was still there where we entered- relieved as it always had an illusion that looked like you couldn't enter. The size of the pebbles also stayed the same and so were the pillars structures on the far right to the creek leading into the tunnels that kept its structure. I used to be so small that I could only chuck the pebbles through the holes of the gate and not over it. There was a section of water where I wanted to throw this one pebble and it landed perfectly. To my suprise- a beautiful duck couple appeared in that area after a second look.There are so many welcoming experiences in my life that I am so lucky to have. It would be a shame to have them diminished by what I wish I could have had- because I could not have wished for anything more.

4.11.25-- 5.26pm

feeling drained... 𖦹 ´ ᯅ ` 𖦹 got out of work orientation