DIGITAL JOURNAL ──★ ˙🍓 ̟ !!

welcome to my low stakes journal where I attempt to care less about editing myself.

11.02.2025 - finally reached lvl 100

I have been gamifying my life for about more than a year now (started may 2024) and I finally reached level 100 as of this week! It feels not much has really changed but I wanted to take the time to document what changes I do actually notice:1. Motivated to do my art consistently, trying to PR every week based on what I did last week and doing art is actually fun2. Have a job I actually like3. Taking care of my mental and physical health and being more physically in my body4. I have more passion for things and I go for them often instead of mostly suppressing them5. I actually look forward to things!!!6. I do not constantly feel like I'm missing out on anything or feel a stressful need to be somewhere else (a REALLY big one) and am content on where I am going and currently am.7. Around people who actually care for my well-being and respect my boundaries

I'm sure there is more but that is all I got for now! I can't wait what lvl 200 will look like or even lvl 500. I wonder where I would be then.

10.25.2025 - me and my bf

I don't want to die I want to reincarnate into a harvest mouse with my boyfriend and be near some berries and cuddle. :c

yah :c

I love going to the library with him and I look forward to it every week... the best part is looking at nature together and pretty much all time spent with him <3 I can't wait until this semester is over so I can see him more often :3

09.28.2025 - long time no see

I had a pull towards writing a journal today. It's been two months since my last one- I got job out of nowhere and it's actually one that I look forward going to (at my favorite restaurant). I'm doing secret daily comics everyday too (without posting them online) and I've been thinking about revamping my website or having a space where I can post different types of comics independently. Art for me has just become a thing where I just want to do it on the side or else coporations and the industry will make me hate it (which it already has tried) so the entire project of independent posting will be dedicated towards yours truly attempting to rekindle what made them love doing art in the first place. I don't think I ever will want an art job- maybe it's only when im selling publications and making a little money off of it and nothing crazy. Maybe later I'll post some sketches of what new pages (potentially a website) may look like in another journal.- bai <3

07.22.2025 - Her New Knife show :D

I saw Her New Knife at The Chapel in Sf :)

05.16.2025 - collecting is saving my life

Ever since I was a child, I loved collecting things and placing them into my bag- and it seems to be a universal experience to want to put trinkets in everyday carriers. Collecting certainly impacts the way you live day to day. Currently its vintage sanrio toys, calico critters, clothes from thrifting, music, reading media for my kindle, and pokemon. Obviously as a child, I was not made aware of the impact that collecting had on me until now, when my mental health seems to be more manageable than it was in the years where I couldn't seem to find interest in anything. I've mentioned in previous journals that It's still difficult for me to be interested in anything- I quite literally still have to force myself sometimes to gain the momentum for staying passionate. Maybe its because the current world does not value having hobbies or having fun (god forbid a girl do so.) but I will always hold space for them. Maybe the way collecting impacts us is the fact that we are emphasizing the value of experiences we have on earth and by carrying visual or physical symbols of these things remind us of the joy and whimsy. As you're also gaining these things you're also upgrading whatever skill or information you have about this collection and in turn increasing neuroplasticity. I end up looking forward to the next thing I find and growing my endless collection of whatever.

05.04.2025 - something quick

several things that have been happening lately:1. At time I feel like my progress with projects are going very slow at the moment. I'm unsure why that is. I'll investigate later
2. I crochet a case for my kindle so it can fit neatly into my bag without worrying about damage <3
3. I have been too much in my head lately about certain topics
4. pinterest account suddenly vanished/ deactivated from tha mass deactivation- oh well.
5. I have a good feeling about the small steps I take everyday towards my goals and that's all that matters.
6. I have to get ready for work rn :)

my crochet kindle case completed

some planning for it

I would have put these images in the crochet section of my hobbies page but it is currently under construction ^^

04.14.2025 - goals for spring

It has been a few years since I have gotten myself out of a creative rut and to pursue what I truly want out of life. Yet- not everything is always easy. Depression/ anxiety doesn't go away but it has been more manageable than ever since I have a rewarding system in place that allows me to function and live creatively. It was a chore before to get into any hobbies, interests, or to learn anything new. I could go down a rabbit hole of how it had affected me in the past but for now would like to just focus on how far I've gone and my hopes for the future.I've been learning that slowness is okay and safe.I've been wanting to write original one shots and create OCs for the longest time for comics as it took awhile to get comfortable getting into interests as inspiration for my work. Now I'm wondering what works I can delve into and analyze this week! Recently I have watched Haibane Renmei and Welcome to the NHK (first episodes) and Oyasumi Punpun (first volume). I've been liking the style of slow and introspective media. Normally I'm into psychological thrillers/ crime but I so far haven't come across anything that piqued my interest. I haven't been looking for any specific pace or genre in particular but I'm seeing a pattern in themes and vibes in the media I've been drawn to.Here are my goals for the week and for the rest of the Spring time:

04.09.2025 - Birthday Reflections

Today I turned 23! It was a day that felt truly special and was a spur of the moment with no planning other than spending it with the love of my life. We decided we were going to go with a 1.5 hour drive down to where I grew up. After the mall, we walked around my childhood playground (the old structure was still there 20+ years later- just repainted and an old boat was gone). The closing of the day there ended with the beautiful wish creek- where I used to throw pebbles into a creek and made wishes. The entrance crack of the gate was still there where we entered- relieved as it always had an illusion that looked like you couldn't enter. The size of the pebbles also stayed the same and so were the pillars structures on the far right to the creek leading into the tunnels that kept its structure. I used to be so small that I could only chuck the pebbles through the holes of the gate and not over it. There was a section of water where I wanted to throw this one pebble and it landed perfectly. To my suprise- a beautiful duck couple appeared in that area after a second look.There are so many welcoming experiences in my life that I am so lucky to have. It would be a shame to have them diminished by what I wish I could have had- because I could not have wished for anything more.